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Sermons Are A Bore? - a short story by A.B.King

   Once upon a time in a place much like where you live right now there lived a man named Elvis. He was happily married to a woman named Jane.
   Elvis had been raised up in church his whole life but he taught that sermons where boring and even though he’s always heard one every Sunday morning since he was born, he still could only dream of church closing right from the moment it started.
   Elvis’ wife however was different. She loved to pray, intercede for others, go to church and even listen to sermons on the radio.
   Elvis couldn’t understand how not only his wife could stand sermons in church but also love to listen to them at home. Elvis never questioned her about it or told her once to turn off the sermon because he wants to listen to another radio program. He loved his wife dearly.
   Anytime Elvis was around when his wife was listening to a sermon at home he couldn’t help but hear what was being said even though he didn’t care about the sermon.
   One day Jane left Elvis to spend a week at her Sister’s place which was many miles away and during that period Elvis found out that he was at his lowest low. It wasn’t just that he was missing his wife or that he felt his wife was just very helpful and that he was now feeling the weight of her absence or anything. It was something different. Elvis just didn’t have things working for him anymore. His confidence – His Drive – His expectations – His Hope was down and out like a blown out candle light. However, when his wife returned things got back to normal and as a matter of fact not only where things as good as they were before but they actually kept getting better with unfailing consistency.
   Some months later Jane told her husband that she would like to go to her Mum’s place and spend a few weeks with her. Elvis was like Ok! No problem.
   The next day Elvis found out that the same thing that happened when his wife left the first time was beginning to happen again. Elvis life just started going downhill. His business just started crumbling. All hope just started fading.
    Elvis was relieved when his wife returned and just as he suspected soon after she returned things started getting better.
   Elvis explained everything to his wife and started calling her his Good-Luck Charm but she only said there was no such thing as Good-Luck.  Elvis was not convinced and the next time his wife wanted to go and spent a week or weekend with a relative Elvis would object because he was now afraid that things would go so bad for him that he might even die.
   Jane told him that he was being silly but Elvis still didn’t want to let her go. He begged and begged and begged her to stay.
   Jane felt sorry for her husband and wanted to stay but she felt by doing so she would be aiding and encouraging her husband’s fear of beginning unable to succeed without her around. So she taught it best to go anyway. 
   This time things were even worse than before and when Jane returned, her husband was in the hospital. Elvis told Jane from his hospital bed that if she hadn’t left none of this would have happened. Jane for a second almost saw sense in what he was saying but she shrugged it off because according to the bible there is no such thing as luck. She spoke to her husband from God’s word and told him that he had better stop being silly that there is no such thing as luck. She told him that she would now purposely go to see another relative and come back a week later and by then he had better be fine. She gave him some sermon tapes she owned for him to listen to with his Walkman as he lay on his hospital bed.
   Elvis started crying and begging his wife not to go but she refused – she said she was doing it for his own good. Hence, she left.
   That night Elvis lay in tears on his hospital bed. He couldn’t sleep. He could feel fear almost tangibly getting a hold of him and filling the hospital ward like a big black cloud from evil itself growing and growing and growing. Elvis knew that if he called for a nurse they would only think he’s crazy and he could end up being moved to a mental institution. His only opinion was to just lye there and let whatever was going to happen happen. It was then that Elvis remembered the tapes his wife gave him. Even though he hated sermons he started to listen to the tapes. Minutes past by and then Elvis drifted peacefully to sleep.
   Elvis woke up the next morning feeling fresher than ever. He wondered if it had anything to do with the sermons and ended up unsure of whether it did or it didn’t. Later that day when Elvis started feeling low again he pulled out the tapes and listened to them again. He started feeling better again, then he was sure that it was the tapes – it was the sermons.
    Many many many sermons later after a few days had gone by Elvis’ life was back to normal. He now knew the secret. It wasn’t his wife. There is no such thing as a good-luck charm. It was the sermons that Elvis had to listen to whenever his wife was around that had made him do well or get better previously. But also the blessings upon his praying and faithful Christian wife rubbed off on him whenever she was around cause True Christians bring blessings to any house or place they find themselves in because a true Christian carries the presence of God and wherever God’s presence is; his blessings are also.
   The word of God (the Bible) and sermons on God’s word also brings boldness, hope and faith to the listener.
   That day Elvis took his walk with God to a personal level and was no longer just the good guy who did good things, never hurt anybody and always went to church every Sunday morning even though he hated the sermons and thought they were boring.
   Elvis now liked sermons – actually, “Loves” sermons would be more like it.
   He called his wife and told her everything. She also had stuff to learn from the experience and she rejoiced with him. They both lived together happily in Christ for ever after. Going from victory to victory, from strength to strength and from glory to glory, Halleluiah!

THE END.   

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