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A Lady Never Refers To Her Husband As “Mr. So & So” Unless She Wishes To Imply The One She’s Speaking To Is Beneath Her & Her Husband In Station And Is In Their Employ: Where Is Your Chivalry? - by A.B.King


   How do you do? All is well, I trust?
I’m honored you’ve decided to grace my humble article with a few minutes of your time. What you are about to learn would bless you for a lifetime.
   A Lady should never refer to her husband as Mr. So & So, while talking to anyone that isn’t their Maid, Butler or an Employee she finds unbearable or wishes to not too subtly remind of the difference between their stations because of something the employee must have done quite recently to suggest he or she may have forgotten the difference in station and needs to be reminded.
   I’m sure you notice the formality it suggests and the coldness it bears.
It should never be used outside these two conditions.
   A Lady must refer to her Husband as “my Husband…” (or by a preferred nickname in informal occasions with close acquaintances) when talking about him.
   She shouldn’t refer to him by his first name As A Compulsory Rule like Emily Post suggested. I am sorry to say that Emily Post (a true heroine of Etiquette who I personally adore) was wrong; As It creates an unnecessary distance between two halves of the same whole that are incomplete without the other (a Husband & a wife. Mathematical Formula: Husband + Wife = One Whole. Thus 1 + 1 = 1. The only place where 1 + 1 is permitted to equal 1. *Marriage).
   To expand on this matter into other areas; It is bad form to refer to family members by their first name while speaking about them.
   Refer to them by their relationship with you, and should you happen to be speaking to someone who for example doesn’t know that Mr.John is your elder brother but knows who Mr. John is, then you could say “…my elder brother John.” Then when you see the person you are speaking to has gotten it, switch to just referring to him as your brother (or by a preferred nickname when talking to a close acquaintance of both parties).
   There are numerous exceptions to this in the case of speaking of a relation that is not your husband or wife, like when a brother is popularly known by his first name, it causes confusion to then follow the suggestion I gave above.
   At the end of the day, the decision is up to you.
    Sometimes etiquette is just a Grid on a drawing paper to guide you, but it is you that draws the lines without burying your personality, freedom, happiness & feelings; in the name of abiding by rules of Etiquette.
   However, if you take the Grid away all together, where are we? How can we tell where we are? How can we tell we are not offending the other person or embarrassing ourselves? Where is civilization then? How can we separate or claim we can separate the difference between Man & Animals in Behavior.
   NEVER THINK ETIQUETTE IS NOT IMPORTANT.
   Remember Alfredonian Etiquette is all about ensuring the establishment & continuance of CIVILIZATION.
   These are not Laws or Commandments but are Social Maps written by ALFRED Benjamin King.

– A.B.King.

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